It's a sad day in Jockosphere-ville. Rob Lunn has fled from the land of Mozart and Sachertortes, lived to tell the tale and written what he says will be his final entry on what has come to be on of our favorite sites, Fat White Guy. Among other things, Rob uses the last entry, posted on Deadspin, to recap and reflect on some of the glory days on the blog:
I should let you know that because of all this wonderful writing I've been doing I've received my fair share of hate-mail. Apparently comparing the Red Sox-Yankees rivalry to WWII is a bit taboo over here.
But the ultimate in "ze ignorant American" came when a German reporter did a write up on me titled "What Has This Man Learned in College? Nothing". (That title, by the way, sounds even better when shouted in your best German accent:"NAh-SSING!!!")
I asked myself, "Where does all this anger come from? What exactly did I say? Had I looked over his shoulder at a party and saw him texting some frauline and let the world know?" I had not.
No, I was guilty of a far greater crime-using Google translator. Wit and comedic timing apparently don't translate-so when a teammate asked me to translate the blog for an Austrian football forum. The aforementioned Red Sox-WWII joke translated to German then translated back to English reads as "The Jews are in rivalry with the favorites. We must holocaust them." Yeah, that will do it.
Now, in addition to having taught us to never pee in public in a bottle, Rob's taught us to never use Google translator to relay a holocaust joke. He's like the gift that keeps on giving.
Rob also uses his final entry to reflect on some of the people he's met on his journey, including teammate Leighta. He posts a message from his friend, which we are apparently supposed to read with an accent and heavy lisp:
Subj: whuzzz up!!
Hope you enjoy your trip, i'm leaving in two days and mabe i write a block for the time in africa. Ahhh I mabye call it "The only white guy in the next 1000 miles" could work thanks for the year man, it was a lot of funhave a nice trip mfg daniel (the only guy who's interested in your block :);Insert gay joke here, who else is interested in my block?
We are ,Rob. We love your block.
Rob concludes his final entry in the only truly fitting manner: with a public shaming and a picture of himself in a Speedo. He writes:
You animals. I post a picture of my sister, to please the masses, and what do you do? You post the most vile and disgusting things. For shame, for shame. I mean, if the internet has taught us anything, it's that the anonymity of the keyboard spawns only constructive and positive commentary.
Apparently, his sister was none-to-pleased about the situation either:
Not to mention the e-mail I received from said sibling, complete with quotes from from her friends. Leave it to my sister the lawyer to cite and quote a hate email like the most thorough of research papers;
- "Wow could rob do that?" - Jessica
- "Immature. Just immature" - Amanda
- "File that one under lack of judgment and reason." - Dad
One wonders how many times Rob's dad finds him saying that on any given day.
However, since turnabout is fair play, Rob has made himself a willing target of this same harassment:
So here's me in a Speedo. The Austrian Grape-smuggler. Now we're even.
File THAT one under lack of judgment and reason.
Though, I have to say that Operation De-fat appears to have been a success. That's one ugly Speedo but one fine-looking white guy.
Auf wiedersehen, Rob. We'll miss you. Come back soon.